tl;dr: break it down
When you try to start something new it’s a whole thing. You may consider it for months, plan for weeks, try it out for a few days, but then fail to put in the hours. Maybe it’s too intimidating, or too hard, or too stressful.
I’m a short distance runner. Why? I always told myself it was lack of stamina, but in reality it was because I was impatient, and struggled with being able to delay satisfaction. I wanted to go FAST, go NOW, and not wait. So what if I didn’t go as far? I still felt as good, right?
When I started to accept I was lazy I realized I could control my life
I used to be lazier than this cute, adorable, sleeping dog
I’m a lazy person by nature. I’d rather figure out how to not do something, or how to minimize my work, instead of actually going the long way and doing exactly what was prescribed. Traditionally this is regarded as bad, and it’s assumed that as a lazy person you won’t do anything, won’t amount to anything, and will live the life equivalent of an episode of Green Arrow – it’s not entirely bad, but you know it could be so much better.
The thing is, I didn’t want to be lazy. For years the only thing I hoped for was to get myself to work on things even if I didn’t really want to. I’d get by with school and work since I knew I had to do it, but the result was sub par work, often rushed just to get it done with, instead of with the full thought and capability I knew I could put into it. I longed to care or be invested enough with something I had to do that I’d give it my 100% and look back with absolutely no regrets of my work.