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Q. Why don’t you just do the work you need to do now if you know you need to get it done?
A. It’s not always that easy to do something you need to do, and is much easier to be distracted
When I started writing this post I got through the bulk of the below in a burst of thought and stream of consciousness, and in the following days started to edit and update some ideas intending to post it by that Monday.
That was over a month ago.
Why did I stop and not post it then? If you asked me normally I’d say I either got distracted, or needed some more time to think, or because I needed a better angle. None of those are false statements, but in reality I couldn’t write it because I struggled with motivating myself to do it.
When I started to accept I was lazy I realized I could control my life
I used to be lazier than this cute, adorable, sleeping dog
I’m a lazy person by nature. I’d rather figure out how to not do something, or how to minimize my work, instead of actually going the long way and doing exactly what was prescribed. Traditionally this is regarded as bad, and it’s assumed that as a lazy person you won’t do anything, won’t amount to anything, and will live the life equivalent of an episode of Green Arrow – it’s not entirely bad, but you know it could be so much better.
The thing is, I didn’t want to be lazy. For years the only thing I hoped for was to get myself to work on things even if I didn’t really want to. I’d get by with school and work since I knew I had to do it, but the result was sub par work, often rushed just to get it done with, instead of with the full thought and capability I knew I could put into it. I longed to care or be invested enough with something I had to do that I’d give it my 100% and look back with absolutely no regrets of my work.